Thought that keeps going through my head: What will I do for six weeks in Central America?
I live life at such a frantic pace that it is very difficult to slow down. My head is full of thoughts about how I can use this trip to get a jump on my dissertation (which is not due until July 2008) or start reading for my fall classes. I have become a production machine. I read books, write papers, solve problems... Even when I'm not at school, I keep my mind full to capacity. I am part of the MTV generation that processes images at amazing speeds and handle mass amounts of audio input without thinking about any of it.
In Central America (as in Ghana), life happens at a much slower pace. This can be extremely frustrating, but it is also a primary reason to go. It is amazing what can happen in the soul when a person is removed from an overflowing life and forced to exist in simplicity. In the past, after the initial shock wears off, this slowness has caused a calmness in me, a contentment with silence and solitude that is rejuvenating and refreshing in my depths.
Will my drivenness and chronic restlessness be once again transformed into reflection and peace? I long for the therapy of smiling faces, blue sky, bright colors, simple food, deep spirituality, volcanos, and rain storms.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Saturday, July 24, 2004
A Short History of Guatemala
The story of Guatemala is similar to the stories of other inhabited nations. Since the Europeans came to settle Latin America, they have been in power. For centuries, they robbed the indigenous people of their land and culture while setting up social and financial systems that kept them in virtual slavery, 2.2 percent of the population owned over 70 percent of the country's land. Only 10 percent of the land was available for 90 percent of the population (www.mayaparadise.com). Those in power exempted themselves from taxation and over-taxed the poor. The majority of the population lived in destitute poverty. In 1944, there was a social revolution in Guatemala and a series of leaders sought to redistribute land more fairly, improve social services and infrastructure, make taxation more equitable and a number of other anti-poverty, pro-equality policies. Guatemalans refer to this era as the golden age.
The golden age did not last. The policies of the democratically elected Guatemalan presidents conflicted with American interests. The United Fruit Company owned a significant amount of land in Guatemala. Some of the land that they owned was unused and under the land re-distribution act it would have been eligible for redistribution to poor, indigenous farmers. The Fruit folks were not too happy about losing some of their land (even though they were not using it). Allan Dulles, who served on the board of trustees for the fruit company and happened to be the head of the CIA, colluded with big brother John Foster Dulles, the secretary of state. In 1954, they used their influence to stir up fear about a communist presence in Guatemala and overthrew Guatemalan president Arbenez. They installed a general who was much more sympathetic to US financial interests in Guatemala.
The Guatemalan people, who had been oppressed for centuries, watched their hope disappear before their eyes when Arbenez was removed from power. In the span of about 10 years, various groups began to unite in protest against the government and by 1970; a relatively organized insurgency began to show its face. Among their demands were labor rights, social reform, access to land, fair taxation and education. They fought because the electoral system did not work and they saw no other means to make their voices heard.
The civil war lasted for 36 years.
The military did 93% of the killing. They used a brilliant tactic of terror which was overseen by American military personal and informed by an American psychological research project called Project Camelot. The army went to random villages and indiscriantly killed inhabitants (men, women, children and elderly). This caused widespread fear in the neighboring villages. They also tortured people. People were dismembered, burned alive, raped, urinated on, other things too horrible to mention. The exhumations of mass graves and recovery of corpses is the evidence.
In total, a million people were displaced. Two hundred thousand highland Indians are dead. Countless others were disappeared. Some 440 Mayan communities are gone. In 1996 the Guatemalan peace accords were signed, but the cumulative effect of death and emigration is such that 43% of the population is now under 14 years of age. Most of these children live in poverty.
Eight years after official peace, some things have changed but many things have not. Guatemala is still a violent place. The per capita murder rates are similar to those of New York and LA during the gang wars of the early 1990s. 97% of murders are not investigated. I recently read an article on BBC news about the murders of 700 women and girls within Guatemala City since 2001 (http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/americas/3294659.stm).
1981 to 1983 were particularly bad years of the war. Approximately 100,000 were killed or "disappeared" and between 500,000 and 1.5 million displaced, fleeing to other regions within the country or seeking safety abroad. Rios Montt, aka “the general” was president during those years. He was also a leading candidate in last year’s presidential election. It is hard to tell how much has changed.
The lack of justice and the rule of fear is an ominous shadow lurking over the Guatemalan story. It has affected the soul and psyche of every Guatemalan: the powered, the disempowered, the women, the men, the young and the old. This is their story and unfortunately, it is also our story. Most Americans don’t know where Guatemala is, much less our country’s role in its history.
The golden age did not last. The policies of the democratically elected Guatemalan presidents conflicted with American interests. The United Fruit Company owned a significant amount of land in Guatemala. Some of the land that they owned was unused and under the land re-distribution act it would have been eligible for redistribution to poor, indigenous farmers. The Fruit folks were not too happy about losing some of their land (even though they were not using it). Allan Dulles, who served on the board of trustees for the fruit company and happened to be the head of the CIA, colluded with big brother John Foster Dulles, the secretary of state. In 1954, they used their influence to stir up fear about a communist presence in Guatemala and overthrew Guatemalan president Arbenez. They installed a general who was much more sympathetic to US financial interests in Guatemala.
The Guatemalan people, who had been oppressed for centuries, watched their hope disappear before their eyes when Arbenez was removed from power. In the span of about 10 years, various groups began to unite in protest against the government and by 1970; a relatively organized insurgency began to show its face. Among their demands were labor rights, social reform, access to land, fair taxation and education. They fought because the electoral system did not work and they saw no other means to make their voices heard.
The civil war lasted for 36 years.
The military did 93% of the killing. They used a brilliant tactic of terror which was overseen by American military personal and informed by an American psychological research project called Project Camelot. The army went to random villages and indiscriantly killed inhabitants (men, women, children and elderly). This caused widespread fear in the neighboring villages. They also tortured people. People were dismembered, burned alive, raped, urinated on, other things too horrible to mention. The exhumations of mass graves and recovery of corpses is the evidence.
In total, a million people were displaced. Two hundred thousand highland Indians are dead. Countless others were disappeared. Some 440 Mayan communities are gone. In 1996 the Guatemalan peace accords were signed, but the cumulative effect of death and emigration is such that 43% of the population is now under 14 years of age. Most of these children live in poverty.
Eight years after official peace, some things have changed but many things have not. Guatemala is still a violent place. The per capita murder rates are similar to those of New York and LA during the gang wars of the early 1990s. 97% of murders are not investigated. I recently read an article on BBC news about the murders of 700 women and girls within Guatemala City since 2001 (http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/americas/3294659.stm).
1981 to 1983 were particularly bad years of the war. Approximately 100,000 were killed or "disappeared" and between 500,000 and 1.5 million displaced, fleeing to other regions within the country or seeking safety abroad. Rios Montt, aka “the general” was president during those years. He was also a leading candidate in last year’s presidential election. It is hard to tell how much has changed.
The lack of justice and the rule of fear is an ominous shadow lurking over the Guatemalan story. It has affected the soul and psyche of every Guatemalan: the powered, the disempowered, the women, the men, the young and the old. This is their story and unfortunately, it is also our story. Most Americans don’t know where Guatemala is, much less our country’s role in its history.
Friday, July 23, 2004
Thoughts about pain
It is 1:00am and I am still awake. So much to think about.
I look around me and I see lots of people attempting to escape some unidentifiable pain. What is it about humanness that is so uncomfortable? What are we trying to escape? I am beginning to realize that a lot of modern life is about avoiding pain. I think we avoid pain because we are afraid that once we let pain penetrate us, it will overwhelm us and we will be stuck in pain forever. Sadly this avoidance strategy doesn't really work. In reality, it ends up hurting us. Pain happens in life. All of us have parts within ourselves that have been hurt. By ignoring or trying to stifle the pain in our lives, we attempt to shut down parts of ourselves. This is a loss. No wonder it is so hard for us in modern society to be satisfied with ourselves. We consume and primp and spend in an attempt to be "okay" enough that we don't let our hurt out.
Life's pain is always at our heals as we try to outrun it.
The thing about emotions is that they are not permanent. Maybe pain wouldn't be so scary if we didn't fear getting stuck in it. My friend said that part of becoming a whole person is learning how to return to joy after pain. Knowing that in the midst of pain, the pain will pass and be replaced by joy.
I don't want to undermine the horror of the pain. No, I think that part of life is to experience tremendous pain, but thankfully this is only a part of life, and not the substance of life. Hurt is only a part of a person, not the whole.
I want to face the fullness of life's pain so that I can stop trying to outrun it. Really I don't have a choice given the profession that I've chosen. My life's work is to be a container for pain. I hear the words that cannot be safely expressed in other places, I hold the pain that has become too overwhelming for those who bear it. It is a sacred privilege that both enthralls and terrifies.
To an extent, perhaps it is pain that keeps drawing me back to poor nations. According to my first world conceptions, those in Central America should crumble under the overwhelming weight of the violence, death, loss, poverty, and hopelessness. Yet, somehow in the midst of indescribable pain there is an unexplainable amount of life in those countries. Part of my journey is to learn about this. It is an academic pursuit if I use the terms thriving, resilience, post-traumatic growth... But it is profoundly personal as I wrestle with how be whole and live fully in the presence of pain.
Quote from Henri Nouwen's The Road to Peace:
"Every time we hear more about the way human beings are in pain, we come to know more about the immensity of the love of God, who did not want to exclude anything human from his experience of being God. God indeed is the God who carries suffering people in her womb with the intimicy and care of a mother... Outside of God human suffering is not only unbearable but cannot even be faced" (p. 112).
I look around me and I see lots of people attempting to escape some unidentifiable pain. What is it about humanness that is so uncomfortable? What are we trying to escape? I am beginning to realize that a lot of modern life is about avoiding pain. I think we avoid pain because we are afraid that once we let pain penetrate us, it will overwhelm us and we will be stuck in pain forever. Sadly this avoidance strategy doesn't really work. In reality, it ends up hurting us. Pain happens in life. All of us have parts within ourselves that have been hurt. By ignoring or trying to stifle the pain in our lives, we attempt to shut down parts of ourselves. This is a loss. No wonder it is so hard for us in modern society to be satisfied with ourselves. We consume and primp and spend in an attempt to be "okay" enough that we don't let our hurt out.
Life's pain is always at our heals as we try to outrun it.
The thing about emotions is that they are not permanent. Maybe pain wouldn't be so scary if we didn't fear getting stuck in it. My friend said that part of becoming a whole person is learning how to return to joy after pain. Knowing that in the midst of pain, the pain will pass and be replaced by joy.
I don't want to undermine the horror of the pain. No, I think that part of life is to experience tremendous pain, but thankfully this is only a part of life, and not the substance of life. Hurt is only a part of a person, not the whole.
I want to face the fullness of life's pain so that I can stop trying to outrun it. Really I don't have a choice given the profession that I've chosen. My life's work is to be a container for pain. I hear the words that cannot be safely expressed in other places, I hold the pain that has become too overwhelming for those who bear it. It is a sacred privilege that both enthralls and terrifies.
To an extent, perhaps it is pain that keeps drawing me back to poor nations. According to my first world conceptions, those in Central America should crumble under the overwhelming weight of the violence, death, loss, poverty, and hopelessness. Yet, somehow in the midst of indescribable pain there is an unexplainable amount of life in those countries. Part of my journey is to learn about this. It is an academic pursuit if I use the terms thriving, resilience, post-traumatic growth... But it is profoundly personal as I wrestle with how be whole and live fully in the presence of pain.
Quote from Henri Nouwen's The Road to Peace:
"Every time we hear more about the way human beings are in pain, we come to know more about the immensity of the love of God, who did not want to exclude anything human from his experience of being God. God indeed is the God who carries suffering people in her womb with the intimicy and care of a mother... Outside of God human suffering is not only unbearable but cannot even be faced" (p. 112).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)