I have to say that my heart sank as the plane descended into the brown smoggy cloud hovering over Los Angeles. We pay a price for living in a modern city full of industry and automobiles. It is such a contrast to the sweet mountain air of Central America.
I am home. I am typing on my own laptop, sitting on my own bed in my beautiful house. It has been good to be home, especially to be with friends and the dog.
Although I am glad to be home, I am sad that my adventure is over. I am sad that life is back to normal. I have so enjoyed the time to think, the opportunity to be an observer, and the simple richness of natural beauty. I am grateful for adventures with a precious friend and time away with Rob. I've had long conversations with God about the state of the world around me and about my own life. My soul feels well-fed and content.
I think part of my somber mood is due to the fact that being home means that my soul is no longer as free to dream and explore. Instead I must protect the inner parts of myself from the onslaught of tasks, performances and evaluations that are the reality of my life. I am faced with the challenge of learning how to integrate the experiences and lessons from my trip into my busy Southern California life. That is not easy.
Monday, September 20, 2004
Friday, September 17, 2004
Winding down (the complaining blog)
Sorry to all my blog buddies. I've been a bad blogger here is Costa Rica. Oddly enough in all the countries I've visited, internet access has been the most expensive and most difficult to use (i.e. slowest).
I am going home tomorrow. I have mixed feelings about it. I wish I could stay here in paradise and ignore the year ahead of me. The coming year will be very full and hard. It will be my last year of a full load of classes, hopefully for the rest of my life. I am up to the coming challenges and in many ways I feel rested and ready to go back to work, but I am certainly drawn to the idea of buying a little cabana on the beach and harvesting coconuts. Maybe that sounds silly, but traveling reminds me that there are many ways to live. It is entirely within the scope of reality that I could choose a much calmer life, choose to live simply and slowly on a beach somewhere. Knowing that there are other ways to live makes me examine the life that I have chosen. It is a life that I am grateful for and wouldn't change... But it is nice to know that I can do something different if I want to. Getting a PhD and surviving Los Angeles is not my only option!
Costa Rica has lived up to all of my expectations. It is an amazingly beautiful country, one of the most beautiful places that I have ever been. Rain forest, wildlife, pristine beaches, volcanoes and of course those waterfalls. Despite its wonder, I can't say that I've enjoyed it more than the other countries in Latin America. My time here has been vacation. Rob and I have stayed in comfortable hotels, gone on tours and visited all the most popular places. It has been fun and relaxing and I've loved sharing it with the boyfriend. Vacation is wonderful but it is very different than what I did in the other countries, in a negative way. I feel much more like a consumer here and much less like a learner. The two roles are certainly not opposite but when most of my conversations are with hotel staff, waiters and tour guides it is almost impossible to have authentic interactions with the people of this country. There are differences between being a tourist and a traveler. A tourist is entertained, served, accommodated, speaks and is spoken to in English. A traveler shifts, ponders, adapts, and stumbles through communication. In general I prefer the more difficult but more fulfilling role of traveler. I truly love the discover and adventure of trying to know and understand another culture. I like being flexible, I don't mind having to try hard.
The tourist thing is really draining for me. Should we pay thirty dollars per person to go to the world famous hot springs? Should we try to cram in one more tour this afternoon? Will that butterfly garden have different species than the other on? So many choices... And then I have to ponder how can I best commemorate this experience. There are tee-shirts at every road side stand. Should I buy tee-shirts for my family or shouldn't I? What about a carving of a frog? Or a set of post cards? Maybe a wooden carving of a surfer (like the one that MC and KAK had)? What souvenir can I buy to remind myself of my vacation to Costa Rica? Oh all of this is so draining and what I try very hard to fight against when I am traveling. Of course some of this pressure is internal, but much of the mentality is built into the tourist culture, the comsumerist culture. Costa Rica is easy to visit and a wonderful vacation spot because of its well developed tourist infrastructure. But, this infrastructure costs something in authenticity. I have much more respect for this place than to presume that I can represent it with a silkscreen image of a frog on 100% cotton. Alright, enough of the soap box.
I guess i am ready to return to the real world of Los Angeles (I hope everyone caught the irony there).
One more thing about vacation that is making me tired: restaurant food. The food is overpriced and portions are three times the size of what I need and everything is fried or soaked in butter. I am so hungry for a spinich salad with walnuts and strawberries and raspberry vinigrette dressing. Or a veggie burger. Or some humis and pita bread. I am not very picky about food. If I was still living with a family and eating rice and beans everyday I would be just fine but the restarant food is pushing me over the edge. The darn tourist infrasturcture makes it hard to get a simple meal, i.e. on that does not come with french fries.
I realize that I am complaining a lot in this blog. I am sure you all know that I am having the time of my life in Costa Rica. You will see that when you see the pictures. i would not trade my time here with my 'Berto and I am grateful for the rest and relaxation that I have had. I think I am winding down and ready to come home. That is a good thing.
I am going home tomorrow. I have mixed feelings about it. I wish I could stay here in paradise and ignore the year ahead of me. The coming year will be very full and hard. It will be my last year of a full load of classes, hopefully for the rest of my life. I am up to the coming challenges and in many ways I feel rested and ready to go back to work, but I am certainly drawn to the idea of buying a little cabana on the beach and harvesting coconuts. Maybe that sounds silly, but traveling reminds me that there are many ways to live. It is entirely within the scope of reality that I could choose a much calmer life, choose to live simply and slowly on a beach somewhere. Knowing that there are other ways to live makes me examine the life that I have chosen. It is a life that I am grateful for and wouldn't change... But it is nice to know that I can do something different if I want to. Getting a PhD and surviving Los Angeles is not my only option!
Costa Rica has lived up to all of my expectations. It is an amazingly beautiful country, one of the most beautiful places that I have ever been. Rain forest, wildlife, pristine beaches, volcanoes and of course those waterfalls. Despite its wonder, I can't say that I've enjoyed it more than the other countries in Latin America. My time here has been vacation. Rob and I have stayed in comfortable hotels, gone on tours and visited all the most popular places. It has been fun and relaxing and I've loved sharing it with the boyfriend. Vacation is wonderful but it is very different than what I did in the other countries, in a negative way. I feel much more like a consumer here and much less like a learner. The two roles are certainly not opposite but when most of my conversations are with hotel staff, waiters and tour guides it is almost impossible to have authentic interactions with the people of this country. There are differences between being a tourist and a traveler. A tourist is entertained, served, accommodated, speaks and is spoken to in English. A traveler shifts, ponders, adapts, and stumbles through communication. In general I prefer the more difficult but more fulfilling role of traveler. I truly love the discover and adventure of trying to know and understand another culture. I like being flexible, I don't mind having to try hard.
The tourist thing is really draining for me. Should we pay thirty dollars per person to go to the world famous hot springs? Should we try to cram in one more tour this afternoon? Will that butterfly garden have different species than the other on? So many choices... And then I have to ponder how can I best commemorate this experience. There are tee-shirts at every road side stand. Should I buy tee-shirts for my family or shouldn't I? What about a carving of a frog? Or a set of post cards? Maybe a wooden carving of a surfer (like the one that MC and KAK had)? What souvenir can I buy to remind myself of my vacation to Costa Rica? Oh all of this is so draining and what I try very hard to fight against when I am traveling. Of course some of this pressure is internal, but much of the mentality is built into the tourist culture, the comsumerist culture. Costa Rica is easy to visit and a wonderful vacation spot because of its well developed tourist infrastructure. But, this infrastructure costs something in authenticity. I have much more respect for this place than to presume that I can represent it with a silkscreen image of a frog on 100% cotton. Alright, enough of the soap box.
I guess i am ready to return to the real world of Los Angeles (I hope everyone caught the irony there).
One more thing about vacation that is making me tired: restaurant food. The food is overpriced and portions are three times the size of what I need and everything is fried or soaked in butter. I am so hungry for a spinich salad with walnuts and strawberries and raspberry vinigrette dressing. Or a veggie burger. Or some humis and pita bread. I am not very picky about food. If I was still living with a family and eating rice and beans everyday I would be just fine but the restarant food is pushing me over the edge. The darn tourist infrasturcture makes it hard to get a simple meal, i.e. on that does not come with french fries.
I realize that I am complaining a lot in this blog. I am sure you all know that I am having the time of my life in Costa Rica. You will see that when you see the pictures. i would not trade my time here with my 'Berto and I am grateful for the rest and relaxation that I have had. I think I am winding down and ready to come home. That is a good thing.
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Surfing... sort of
Rob and I were jazzed about doing some surfing in Costa Rica's warm water. We are in Jaco, the surf capital of Costa Rica, which is similar to Huntington Beach, but in Spanish. We rented some boards, put on our swimsuits (no wet suits needed) and headed out. One problem... the waves are freakin' huge. I am pretty fearless, especially when it comes to water activities, but it is quite a feeling to be facing a ten foot wall of water that I (and my 8 foot, buoyant fiberglass friend) must get over, under or through. The water was so rough I had a hard time getting past the breakers. After several failed attempts I decided to put the training wheels back on and ride the white water (after the wave has already broken). With such big, powerful waves, the white water was really fun and I had much less fear for my personal safety. I caught many, many rides so I think it is safe to say that I've surfed Costa Rica. I'd still like to catch a proper wave so I'll try again tomorrow. Don't worry mom, I will come back in one piece.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Paradise
I am spoiled now. There are so many waterfalls. There are waterfalls everywhere. Clean, clear water. I sat under a short waterfall and got a massage. I jumped off a high waterfall into a dark green pool. Costa Rica is amazing and I haven´t even been to the beach yet!
Sunday, September 05, 2004
San Jose
We have spent the weekend in San Jose, Costa Rica. It is a modern city with paved roads, nice buses and lots of franchize fast food restarants. The think there are three McDonalds within a two block radius of our hotel. It feels very modern to me, especially in comparison to the other cities that I have visited in Central America. I look around and feel like I could easily be in downtown LA or San Francisco.
Rob came on Friday night and ALlegra left early Saturday morning. Rob and I spent yesterday walking around San Jose. There is certainly a lot to see! We did a lot of people watching and went exploring in the market. I bought a few necklaces made of shells that I am excited to show off at home.
We planned to spend today at Poas (volcano) National Park but we both woke up with upset stomachs so we spent most of the morning watching HBO and napping. After some Pepto we both felt better so we went to a small art museam in a very big city park.
I am amazed at how universal the human desire for beauty is. I have never heard of a culture that did not have some form of art or some type of appreciation for natural beauty. The art museam was small but extrodinary. The pieces were all by Ticas (the nickname for Costa Ricans). They addressed the usual themes: landscapes, portraits, social commentary, but in such a distinct way that I felt I could have guessed they were from central America even if I had seen them in New York, Paris or China. I have such deep respect for people who can form their thoughts, feelings, and cultural perspective into something physical that can be more or less understood by others. It seems to be a very universal thing- the struggle to find a way to tell our personal and communal stories. Art, music, dance, liturature, poetry... these all express human stories.
Today, even the park told a story. The people playing soccer, the pond with the fountain, the children flying kites and the men selling bags of peanuts. I was surrounded by happy people in a beautiful park on a sunny day. It was such a familiar experience for me, yet distinct because it did not happen in Land Park in Sacramento or the River Park in Redding or Lacy park in South Pasadena.. it happened in Costa Rica. How universal is the desire to play and laugh and smile in a pretty place!
In the museam and in the park, I felt very connected to a narrative greater than myself. In a foriegn country I understood the paint and images, I connected to the lives around me. I felt very little difference between others and myself. Shared narrative, collective unconcious... there is more alike than different.
Rob came on Friday night and ALlegra left early Saturday morning. Rob and I spent yesterday walking around San Jose. There is certainly a lot to see! We did a lot of people watching and went exploring in the market. I bought a few necklaces made of shells that I am excited to show off at home.
We planned to spend today at Poas (volcano) National Park but we both woke up with upset stomachs so we spent most of the morning watching HBO and napping. After some Pepto we both felt better so we went to a small art museam in a very big city park.
I am amazed at how universal the human desire for beauty is. I have never heard of a culture that did not have some form of art or some type of appreciation for natural beauty. The art museam was small but extrodinary. The pieces were all by Ticas (the nickname for Costa Ricans). They addressed the usual themes: landscapes, portraits, social commentary, but in such a distinct way that I felt I could have guessed they were from central America even if I had seen them in New York, Paris or China. I have such deep respect for people who can form their thoughts, feelings, and cultural perspective into something physical that can be more or less understood by others. It seems to be a very universal thing- the struggle to find a way to tell our personal and communal stories. Art, music, dance, liturature, poetry... these all express human stories.
Today, even the park told a story. The people playing soccer, the pond with the fountain, the children flying kites and the men selling bags of peanuts. I was surrounded by happy people in a beautiful park on a sunny day. It was such a familiar experience for me, yet distinct because it did not happen in Land Park in Sacramento or the River Park in Redding or Lacy park in South Pasadena.. it happened in Costa Rica. How universal is the desire to play and laugh and smile in a pretty place!
In the museam and in the park, I felt very connected to a narrative greater than myself. In a foriegn country I understood the paint and images, I connected to the lives around me. I felt very little difference between others and myself. Shared narrative, collective unconcious... there is more alike than different.
Friday, September 03, 2004
Leaving Nicaragua
I spent Wednesday through Friday in San Juan del Sur, a beach town in Nicaragua. The town is on the edge of a beautiful bay with mountains on either side. The water is green and the sand is dark. Allegra and I went there to rest and relax in the sun before she left for the US and I met Rob in Costa Rica.
The area was like a tropical paradise. One day we took a boat taxi to a nearby surf beach that was perfect, just like a post card. Unfortunatly there were not any waves so I did not do any surfing. We played in the warm water until the tiny stinging jelly fish (medusas in Spanish) finally drove us out with little welts all over our skin. The water was crystal clear, I could see the bottom even when I swam far beyond where I could touch. After eating lunch at the beach´s one structure, a thatched roof bar, we played beach vollyball with a guy from Israel, two guys from Poland and a Nicaraguan. The court consisted of a fishing net stretched between two tree limbs put into the ground like poles. Ah....
It was hard to leave Nicaragua. It marked a major shift in my journey. Allegra left and Spanish school ended. Costa Rica will be more about vacation and tourism than cultural emersion. I am certainly looking forward to being with Rob and seeing the beauty of Costa Rica, but there has been something so wonderful about the less developed, less traveled places in Central America. I love the wildness and haphazardness of not really knowing how to get from point A to point B. I love the innovation and creativity that is developed in people when there is a lack of resources and convienences. It has been a privilegde to see beyond the rosey exterior that tourists usually see and feel like I have been allowed a wisp of insight into what life is really like for those who live here.
The area was like a tropical paradise. One day we took a boat taxi to a nearby surf beach that was perfect, just like a post card. Unfortunatly there were not any waves so I did not do any surfing. We played in the warm water until the tiny stinging jelly fish (medusas in Spanish) finally drove us out with little welts all over our skin. The water was crystal clear, I could see the bottom even when I swam far beyond where I could touch. After eating lunch at the beach´s one structure, a thatched roof bar, we played beach vollyball with a guy from Israel, two guys from Poland and a Nicaraguan. The court consisted of a fishing net stretched between two tree limbs put into the ground like poles. Ah....
It was hard to leave Nicaragua. It marked a major shift in my journey. Allegra left and Spanish school ended. Costa Rica will be more about vacation and tourism than cultural emersion. I am certainly looking forward to being with Rob and seeing the beauty of Costa Rica, but there has been something so wonderful about the less developed, less traveled places in Central America. I love the wildness and haphazardness of not really knowing how to get from point A to point B. I love the innovation and creativity that is developed in people when there is a lack of resources and convienences. It has been a privilegde to see beyond the rosey exterior that tourists usually see and feel like I have been allowed a wisp of insight into what life is really like for those who live here.
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