Teaching and Learning

For the past two days, we have given a training seminar to people interested in counseling. Our audience is eager to learn and very attentive. I have given four lectures. Three went very well. On the third one, I got spooked (as Al put it). As I began talking, I suddenly felt flooded by all the information that I wanted to present. I think I over prepared and then in the moment I could not sift through what I wanted to say and what I didn’t. It was like system overload and I totally lost my ground. I went on for a while, but finally I felt so unsure about it, I stopped and said, “I don’t know if this is how I want to do this.” I then I began to ask them questions about what they wanted to know, which actually caused me more problems. Chinese students do not follow a Socratic learning method. The teacher teaches and they listen, there is no interaction. When I paused and asked for feedback, they looked at me plainly. Then, one of the leaders got up and somehow encouraged them to give me feedback. It was awkward. Finally they gave me some suggestions and I was able to reconstruct myself and go on, albeit a bit hesitantly.

It was a difficult inner struggle. At the beginning of my talk I began to feel like “I don’t know these people; I don’t know what they need. I don’t know any information that could be useful for them.” I felt incompetent, not at all like the expert whose role I was playing.

I was selected to come to China because I have a significant amount of cross-cultural experience and a desire to have a cross-cultural career. I felt confident in preparation, like “I have seen places like this before. I know how to handle myself.” I kept telling myself, “It will be like this in Africa or that in Nicaragua.” Not to mention the numerous times that I have been to Chinatown or had conversations with Chinese American friends... I did myself a disservice by expecting myself to act as if this cross-cultural stuff is “old hat.” China is completely new. It is unlike anything I have experienced. I do not know very much about this country, its history or its people. I have to begin this experience as new, with the eyes of someone who has never left home before. Today, while I was speaking, I was overwhelmed with the uniqueness of this place and these people. Not the best timing, but a good lesson for me to appreciate the depth of this experience and how it is unlike any other.